What is wrong with horror movies?

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This movie is abominable. I almost turned it off about ten minutes in, but decided to forge ahead for the review. I have a duty to report on movies this awful.

First and foremost: human beings do not talk this way. The dialogue and acting are stilted, stiff, and overall terrible. It distracts from every scene. The movie is literally embarrassing to watch. I am not kidding, if you were watching this and your friends came over you would make some nonsense excuse for why it was on the TV. It is a humiliating experience to watch something this shitty. You will find yourself not wanting to look directly at the screen.

The story is dumb, and the attempts to force a change on the standard haunted house crap don’t really work. The ghost in the film is an arbiter of justice in that it is trying to get the living to solve the crime of its death. Unfortunately, the characters in this film are insultingly stupid and annoying teenagers, which makes rooting for them or caring about the movie at all borderline impossible.

The production design is over the top. The special effects are laughable, and the music is so loud that it distracts from every scene. Perhaps the worst part is how dumbly predictable and forced every scene is. The movie is pathetic. I cannot say enough bad about it (but I’m going to rant a bit more anyway).

This movie is in a lot of ways symbolic of everything that is wrong with the horror genre. If you want to make a horror film, try to give a shit about the genre. Treat the story with a little bit of respect, maybe? If I was going to write a story about a teenage girl, I might take the time to figure out what teenage girls are like. Novel idea, I know. People who make these types of shit-shows watch a couple crappy horror films and think “I can do that” and they churn out this garbage that drags down everything else. People have to wade through a sewer’s worth of this garbage to find one good film on Netflix anymore.

If you want your intelligence insulted, give this movie a try. It has no respect for the viewer, and the entire running time is an exercise in frustration. Perhaps they should show this movie to film students as a lesson in what not to do. No one involved in this pile of crap should be allowed anywhere near another film. 0/10

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