Let’s take a look at an American 1970s horror film.

mark-of-the-witch-tom-moore

We might need to find a way to combine the words cheese and horror. Chorror? Cheesor?

Mark of the Witch is the type of film that belongs in a drive in theater. We follow a witch who comes back from the dead to terrorize a college town 300 years after her execution. The film is unintentionally funny, as the lines are delivered with fervor by the witch, but those listening look bored. The editing is a mess, and the music is completely out of place.

The acting is about as good as you expect it to be. The lines are problematic, but it isn’t the delivery that is the real problem—it is that every line has to be dripping with exposition. Despite the simple plot, it seems the writers were concerned that everything had to be carefully explained to the viewer. Once again, this kind of makes the film hilarious as it seems like everyone in this town is an idiot.

The film is also painfully slow. I am going to label this as horror, but it really isn’t. The whole thing feels more like a reality TV show where we follow around college students who aren’t doing any school work. Instead they talk shop with their professor at parties and what knot. First, I don’t think students are ever this interested, and second, people don’t talk about resurrecting and then raping a witch in front of their professor!

So yeah, they bring the witch back (for reasons). The ensuing mayhem makes up the bulk of the film—or at least that is what should have happened. Instead, the professor takes the time to teach the witch about how to live in the new world. We also get a lot of people talking directly into the camera. Everyone just sits around and talks about what they need to do, or what is going on, rather than showing anything interesting at all. Instead, expect a lot of ridiculous close-ups.

While the movie is bad, it could be fun. I made the mistake of watching it alone, and randomly making sarcastic remarks to my cat. This film needs an audience. For folks who enjoy having people over with some beer and snacks to rip on a movie, this one is perfect. Watching it alone makes the slow and boring parts almost too much to sit through. I think this one is worth watching only for making fun of it. Certainly not a classic.

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