Let’s watch the correct version of this stupid movie.

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I suppose the correct title of this film is Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare, and it seems they only added that moniker to distinguish this film from the 2017 version. As I watched, I wondered if the two films knew about one another, but they did come out quite close. Either someone let some ideas slip, or teen horror is so clichéd that two separate companies could make nearly the same movie. Despite my penchant for conspiracy, I think I would argue the latter.

A film based on a stupid kid’s game will deliver more or less exactly what you expect. Just about every teen horror cliché is present here: annoying characters, stupid characters, a love triangle, inner turmoil, deep and dark secrets, and an overall predictable narrative.

We follow Olivia, who instead of building houses during spring break (what she wanted to do) her friends force her to go to Mexico for drinking and shenanigans. After a stranger named Carter gets rid of Olivia’s ex (or perhaps just stalker?) they go with Carter to an abandoned church. Hey folks, how often will you follow a stranger in the middle of the night on foot into the Mexican wilderness? Because that is exactly what our idiot heroes do. The creepy dude comes back, and they just let him come into the party, which is either insanely tone deaf by the writers or Olivia’s friends are idiots. Flip a coin on that one.

Anyway, Carter brought them up to be trapped in the game, where if you don’t do the dare or tell the truth you are killed. Why anyone would choose dare (granted, the film manufactures a reason for there to be a limit on how many truths you can pick) is beyond me.

Most of the drama of the film comes from the truths. Maybe my friends were boring, but we all weren’t harboring terrible secrets from one another, so the demon possessing the game would have been bored with “I don’t have the best work ethic,” or “I play too many videogames.” I can’t imagine most folks are a bunch of cheating and lying pricks to everyone around them. I could be wrong, I guess.

The mystery is dumb, I mean, let’s be real—it’s a kids’ game! I can’t wait to see what else studios try to squeeze some money out of. If you thought Truth or Dare was scary the upcoming Hopscotch will make you crap your pants and Connect Four will put lives at risk. This is a profoundly stupid film that doesn’t even manage to maintain a baseline level of entertainment. A flawed concept through and through. How two of these films were made is a greater mystery than anything present in the narratives.

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