Let’s watch the new reboot.

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We watched this one to see if we might want to go and see the new one—and no.

Homecoming is the total not-an-origin-story-while-still-being-an-origin-story entry in the Marvel extended universe. We follow Peter Parker (Tom Holland) in the now third recasting of the titular hero in about 15 years. Sorry Tom, but don’t expect job security!

Spider Man is already Spider Man here and has been given a mega-suit by Iron Man (you all already know who plays Iron Man) that establishes a forced mentoring relationship and strips away the supposed genius of Parker. However, Iron Man doesn’t want Parker to do much, so he is stuck running around helping people and answering to Happy (Jon Favreau), who sucks the fun out of any scene he is in.

Parker gets hot on the trail of a dangerous weapons dealer with a much cooler suit named Vulture (Michael Keaton). However, Iron Man comes in to piss on this parade, too. Parker goes behind Iron Man’s back and is chastised for doing things out of his league and the only way to win back Iron Man’s respect is to continue doing things out of his league…seriously.

It is weird to basically have an origin story without actually showing the foundations of the hero. It is further a strange narrative in that Parker’s behavior doesn’t change at all, and yet Iron Man’s opinion of him alters drastically.

The Marvel films can be chastised easily for their flimsy and familiar plots, but I guess the action is supposed to cover that. We get some nice set-pieces, but mostly there is just a lot of teenage angst and pointless movements. Honestly, of what consequence was the D.C. trip here?

Oddly, there isn’t a scene in the film that seems unnecessary when you watch but putting them together there is a certain feeling of boredom. At well over 2 hours this is a slog to get through—particularly when you realize the first half is basically pointless.

This is a popcorn film through and through. Most of the jokes land, and the action is just enough to keep you going. A largely forgettable outing in my opinion, but not a bad movie. Fans of the genre (and of Spider Man) will love It. Outsiders to the genre will fail to see the hype.

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