Let’s go to the woods again.

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I have lamented that found footage has now been used to cut corners where it was meant to be done as a budgetary tool. At least this one uses the format for the original intention. This film is another micro-budget horror film with a lot of technical issues.

The camera work is quite terrible. What is trying to be a web-series about looking for what is causing missing persons in a national park is less sophisticated than many YouTube channels. Some of the framing works well, but once the shaky cam comes in prepare to be nauseous.

What really kills these films is the lack of cohesive editing. I don’t want to see these guys pack the car—no one does. This could probably work as a short, but the need to hit the arbitrary 80-minute running time leaves it with a ton of filler. Without exaggerating, I think nearly an hour could be removed from this movie.

NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS DAMN MOVIE!

The whole “slow burn” trend seems to have tricked people into thinking they can have scenes of just nothing and it will somehow add up to something. For a slow burn to work, there has to be something for the viewer to hold onto here. This can be done through plot or through characters. Here, we have a story that is lacking and both.

The characters here just aren’t likable. Once again, I don’t see any of them having enough of a pull to be a lead in a successful series. The dialogue is delivered poorly, often mumbled, and the immature sexism of the characters towards the one woman is just exhausting. Nobody has time for this anymore.

What is it about? A group of morons do a survival show and investigate a spooky forest. It’s a Blair Witch clone. Look, there is never going to be another Blair Witch, whatever the next big thing is (I suppose Paranormal Activity deserves a nod here) isn’t going to be carbon copying something that exists. Blair Witch worked because it broke the rules—this one is just retreading the same ground that we have seen before.

I know I’m usually snarkier, but this is the type of horror film that bums me out more than makes me mad. There isn’t anything salvageable here, and I don’t know if something so derivative will be useful to the makers in furthering their craft. There isn’t anything of value here. You’ll notice this one is also plagued by fake reviews claiming it is great. It isn’t. This is cheap mimicry at best.

Not worth the time at all.

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