Let’s respond.

Armed_Response_(2017_film)

I think this is the first Saban film I have seen, and it is about as good as one would think. Judging by the trailers of the films from this company you would expect something rushed, poorly filmed, and overall subpar. You’d be right…

I guess they were able to bribe Wesley Snipes into this movie (remember when he was kind of a big deal), they also got Anne Heche and Gene Simmons on board. So, yeah. Great cast. It has been weird to see the semi-big-names drawn to this company. At the pace they are shitting movies out I imagine they must be offering a decent amount of money for a little bit of work.

Seriously, this film looks like it was filmed in about three days.

The film is an absolute mess from the first frame to the last. We have severe tone jumps and plotlines that seem like they were made up on the fly. It all circles around a super-secret installation and the crew that must investigate what happened when something goes wrong. This is like a lazily made SyFy action film.

We get some supercomputer mumbo-jumbo that doesn’t make any sense. The idea is stupid. This is stupid. I am stupid for watching this. With a movie called Armed Response they should have given what the title suggests: fuck you, here’s some splosions! This reminds me of hating the Transformers movie, how do you fuck up a movie where the primary point is watching people break shit.

The absolute lack of character development is almost impressive. Everyone on set seems to be dreading being present on such a project, and we are given absolutely nothing about the characters aside from basic action movie trait crap.

The practical parts of the film are likewise atrocious. Lighting is horrid, framing is lazy, and it wouldn’t surprise me if most of this was done in one take. We rarely get a scene of more than about three seconds before there is a cut, which makes for a jumpy and obnoxious action film.

But wait! It is actually a wannabe horror film, too. Action-horror rarely works, and this one tries way too hard to be something it simply isn’t. The film lacks the storyline to be creepy and the sophistication to be scary. Even the lame action isn’t engaging.

As I watched the movie, I thought this would be a funny review. However, there isn’t even enough to make fun of. Mocking this movie would be like going to an elementary school play and ripping on it. Avoid this one at all costs. Watching your own reflection in the screen while ruminating on the past is a better time.

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